it’s been an hour into the flight and everything in my mind still feels freaking weird, yet surreal all at the same time. All these feelings that are surging in , i can’t really handle it. Did i really just walk through a departure gate with the people who love me watching me from the back? Did i really walk through security check alone keeping all my tears inside? Funny how time seemed to have passed like crazy. Wasn’t it just a few month or two ago when i collected my visa?? wasn’t it just awhile ago i received the offer letter from the school?? Where did all that time go seriously. My heart felt like it was in so much pain when i turned around and gave a brief look backwards and saw the people that i really care for waving away, i could feel their blessings. I’m not sure what i’m feeling right now because as i boarded the plane, i took a deep breath and sat down. I was given the middle seat, and how funny, the 2 people on my sides actually know each other. They briefly spoke to me and was asking me about how i felt going to London alone. The only words i could mutter that wasn’t shadowed by my tears that was about to burst out was “I’m scared”. i tried to muff out the sadness by taking a short nap on the plane and boy, i must really be exhausted because i feel asleep instantly, and it was the best nap i’ve taken in weeks.

As i woke up feeling slightly fresher, and with a clearer mind, i took out the letters and gifts i’ve received. I don’t have words to describe how i felt reading through them. I am immensely thankful, grateful that i’ve got all these people as my friends. What did i do to deserve all these love. As much as NTU was a nightmare to me, i’m glad i was there for a year because i got to meet the most amazing people that never made a single moment in my life in NTU boring. The friendship i’ve gotten from ADM is so damn precious and i’m glad that i’ve got you guys as friends. And for the 3 girls i’ve got with me since poly, you guys are gold. Through all the mountains and hills and whatever we’ve been through, i’m glad we’re still in this together. You guys made up the best 3 years of my life in TP and too, i’m thankful for you guys. The last minute stay cation and impromptu sleepover was the best reunion we’ve had in a long long time. Despite the long working hours and school, i’m happy that we are still here for each other. & to Derek, for popping out of nowhere and coming to the airport, you are the best. Even i’ve only known you for a short while through work, who knew we’d become good friends. Thanks for the encouragement always. I’m glad i’ve got you as a friend! Reading through every single one made me cry again because it was super sweet and it made me miss home already. (what’s wrong with you Celeste). I kinda started weeping to myself and tears was falling all over my face but i need to stop being an embarrassment in case i get judged. I’m carrying a heavy heart with me now trying to feel better. I definitely do hope that this new experience / adventure I’m about to embark on with change my life and make me a better and strong willed person. It’s the time i gotta learn to be strong, independent and to make decisions. Listening to the songs on my phone actually calms me down a lot, and i guess i’m feeling a lil better? i’m not sure. There’s still about 11 hours to go on the flight, so i might take out the letters again to read on the plane.

(feeling thankful for all those who turned up at the airport. i appreciate it so much. you guys are the best, seriously)

Drenched pillow now.

I miss home.

1.07pm SGT

Just 9 hours to go before landing in London. Just got through to watching a romance movie on board and i managed not to cry, so i guess it’s safe to say that I’m feeling better. Was just served the in-flight breakfast. Given a choice of poached eggs with sausages or their fried seafood noodles. So, sure poached eggs sounded nice. However, I’m not a very big fan of in-flight food because they generally just end up smelling like the plane. I thought i could give the eggs a try, but but but, SIA still managed to disappoint me. The “poached” eggs came fully cooked, so it was like a hard boiled egg. The potatoes and sausages were mediocre and the bun was cold. I don’t know what made me want to try their food. *sighs*. However, lunch wasn’t too boring because between me and the 2 guys on my side, we had a conversation. Talked about school and what i was headed to London for. They gave me little encouragements that everything would be different and it’s gonna be awesome. They told me that studying abroad would make me a stronger person mentally, and that everything would be alright. Also, that i was brave to do this, thank you for that small glimpse of hope. Definitely made me feel less mopey and i guess this is a start to making new friends in a new environment. Wouldn’t say i’m looking forward to lunch, but i’m hungry now. Gotta watch ‘the other woman’ now to try and crack myself up. it’s a great show btw. Hiiiiiilarious.

Thoughts right now : should i eat my coconut chips?

I ate the coconut chips. Couldn’t resist. It was calling for me through my bag.

—

Oh hello. It’s almost dinner time in Singapore already, yet it’s still bright up in the sky. Had lunch awhile ago and yucks, the food was bad. I had to eat it as i was getting kinda hungry. Ugh, hardly ate as the food was kinda gross. Also, i have to say, the water provided on the flight is horrid. OMG. the water was absolute rubbish, it had some sort of medicinal taste. So i really wanted time to pass quickly as being alone on the plane isn’t the best experience, guess what i’ve been doing?? I’ve been catching up on the series of Little Nonya. Awesome enough, they have the box set available in-flight, and i’ve been on it since 5 hours ago??? The plane’s dark and there has been an irritating baby wailing all the way and it seems that i’ve been constantly smelling farts. WHO IS IT??? Eyes are kinda dying from the dry air.

BRB

Still trying to get the yucky water taste out of my mouth. WHY DOES IT TASTE SO BAD???? SMELLS LIKE UNFILTERED TOILET WATER. Not that i’ve tried it before, but it seems like toilet water would taste like that. Are we almost there yet? I need to stretch my legs, feeling the contraction in the boots. The guy on my left has literally been to the toilet 10 times throughout the flight. You ok bro? Anyway, kinda feeling some ache in my heart right now (not literally). I’m feeling it. As i set foot in London, it’s gonna be a start of something new. Sidetrack : // Woah the song on Little Nonya came up and it’s super melancholic – brings back memories man.

Oh, the flight display said 1 hour 35 mins to go before landing. THIS IS REAL. THIS IS HAPPENING.

Hmm, this feeling’s kinda nice. Sitting in the plane, typing my thoughts away. Wish i could look out the window and be all inspirational, but nope, i’m in the middle seat and the window is shut. So, no cloud photos.